So O.K. everything has been going great for a while and all of the sudden you start suspecting her of cheating. It could be after 2 months of a crazy, sex-filled, loving relationship or after 20 years of not so great marriage. No one is immune to it. You’re still not sure and you can’t quite put your finger on it but she is a bit different, she’s acting odd.
I’ll start with the bad news:
Bad news no. 1 – there is no SURE way to find out except for you to confront her about it.
There are some tips her body language will tell you:
she’ll start to avoid eye contact
cover her mouth while telling your where she’s been – this does not have to be so obvious, it can be just small gestures that her hand unconsciously starts going towards her mouth when she lies or licking her lips to “clean up” the lie she just told you
she’ll either start to avoid sex all together (or any form of physical affection) or she’ll initiate a lot of new stuff
she’ll answer her phone a lot less then usual and/or will call you up to check where you are (to make sure she has enough time to make her move)
to be 100% sure confront her but don’t lose your cool, she’ll never admit if you’re acting angry
Bad news no. 2 – if you’re picking up on it (and we all know how men are much less sensitive to these little changes in women’s behavior then the other way around) she probably is going through something big. Might or might not be cheating but if she’s not sharing it with you – it’s not good.
Bad news no. 3 – if she is cheating, it’s usually cause of something you did or are doing wrong, you’re just plain not making her happy
A lot of test were done on this subject and turns out men and women do perceive cheating differently. Women get much more upset if they hear their partner has a strong emotional connection with the women he’s cheating with, while men get much more upset if they hear about the physical connection their partner has with other men.Men, visual types as they are, care much less about the emotional connection and focus on the physical aspect of cheating.
Who with, how much and where? Remember the movie “Closer” with Michael Owen? When he freaks out and wants to know all the little details. If you still didn’t see that movie, I strongly suggest that you do, it’s amazingly precise in defining human behaviors.
Well here is the news flash to all you guys – women won’t cheat if they don’t have an emotional connection with the guy they are cheating with. It can be chemistry, attraction or deeper emotional bond but without it, there is no way a woman will get into bed with a guy.
So open your eyes for guys she’s really clicking with they might not have anything going on right now, but if she’s clicking with someone else better then she is with you, it’s time to change things up.
Good news no. 1 – if she’s still with you it’s not to late (even is she’s one foot out of the door, it’s not too late)
Good news no.2 – you can win her back and have a much better relationship then you did before her “cheating” (again might or might not be)
How do you do it? Well first of start communicating more. I know it seems stupid and obvious, but really how many of you guys out there come home after a long days work and really LISTEN to what your wife/girlfriend is saying. And no, looking over her shoulder while she’s blocking your view on the game and saying “m-hm” every few minutes does not count. Sorry.
Turn off your TV, turn off your phone (by the wayguys, I really think it’s important to switch off you phone every once in a while and just enjoy the silence), if you have kids put them to bed early and focus all of your attention to her.
O and also quick little tip – kick the TV out of the bed room. You’ll be thanking me for it within a week.
Remember what it was like when you first started dating her, you were fighting for every bit of her attention and now you’re taking her for granted? Come, on. Focus.
Next up you’ll need to show her it’s not just a trick you’re doing to get her back from that other man. Convince her that this “new” behaviour is not going away after 2-3 weeks when you start to feel secure again. And don’t go back to ignoring her. You know even fighting all the time is better then ignoring her. Women are really emotional, and I mean really. Things you don’t think twice about can haunt her for days, they are in their heads a lot of the time. So start by giving her your undivided attention, presence, time and show some passion about it (in other words, love).